fear of new experiences

How to Overcome Fear of a New Experience…And Enjoy It

You have a new opportunity ahead of you.  You are excited and nervous.  But then, the self doubt creeps in and suddenly you do not want to take advantage of this new opportunity.  It comes in the form of negative self-talk, excuses not to go, and in the paralyzing fear that you want to just stay home and curl up on your couch.  How does one overcome this fear of a new experience?  How can you change your thinking to embrace it and enjoy it?

Recently my daughter started Middle School.  And of course, as a parent I gave her all of the great advice, knowing she would be just fine.  I had confidence that after she started it would all be fine.  She of course was very skeptical.

Overcome your FearsI am about to embark on a new adventure of my own, completely alone.  I will be attending a conference, FinCon, for the first time.  For four days, I will be attending a conference, where I know absolutely NO ONE.

I can’t help but think how similar these two situations are.  The question is, Can I take my own advice that I so confidently gave my daughter?  Will I survive FinCon, like she will survive Middle School?

It Might Suck at First

How often do we tell people, “Everything will be OK.  You will be fine.”  And of course, it probably will.  But not at first.  You need to accept that at first, new things are uncomfortable.  They do not always feel good, and in fact, you will not be an expert and will struggle through.  It takes everyone different amount of times to find their comfort level.    

You can anticipate and plan for as many variables as possible, but there is sure to be something that you didn’t plan.  So the best thing is to prepare for the fact, that you can’t be prepared for everything, and something is going to happen that will throw you off and possibly send you into a mini panic attack.

Kids should not expect to go out on the baseball field and hit a homer immediately.  It isn’t going to happen, yet in their mind, that is success.  They need to know that they are going to go out there and royally screw up.  And that is fine.  It is how they handle these mistakes or failures that will help guide them to success.

So at my conference next week, I know that I won’t know exactly where to store my luggage until I check in, and I won’t know exactly where to go, so yes it will not be perfect. I will need to find my comfort level and go with the flow.

You Are Not the Center of Attention

What if no one likes me, or sits by me?  What if everyone notices I don’t know what I am doing?  What if I don’t say the right thing?  What If I don’t know where I am going and I look like an idiot?  What if I trip in the hallway and and I am known as “Clutz Girl”?

These are real concerns.  But the fact of the matter is that no one is looking at you. You are not the center of attention.  You probably aren’t the only one experiencing this for the first time either.  People will not be paying attention to you.  You will be fine, and no one will notice, or if they do, they will be much more likely to lend a helping hand than put you down.  We have all been the “new one”. 

Reach Out to Others

We have all been there, when you feel like you are the only person without a friend.  As I am about to embark on my trip to FinCon, I realize that I have only met 1 of the 2000 people who will be attending.  I do not know anyone else.  Who am I going to eat lunch with?  Who will walk with me in between sessions?  Who am I going to talk to, because I can’t go 4 days without talking????

Similar to my daughter when she started Middle School, she was concerned about who she would have class with and talk to.  There are always those people who flock together right away and are social.  The quote “popular” crowd.  You see them together, laughing, having fun, with no effort at all and always in a pack.  I had to remind my daughter that when I said, go talk with people, I meant for her to find others like her.  Find someone else who looks like they are alone.  Find the other quiet kids.  It was amazing to see the relief on her face, because for some reason, those quiet loners felt more approachable than those already in groups. 

How to start?  A smile! It makes you more approachable and helps you start a conversation.  You can also start by complimenting someone on something.  Who doesn’t like compliments?  Tell a speaker how great they sounded, or tell someone how cute their shoes are.  In middle school, my daughter has found this as a great opening to a conversation with others in her class.  It also is something she can build on in future discussions.

Some of us are introverts, and it is intimidating to find others, but even one other person can help make this new experience more bearable.

Stay Positive

The hardest part is to stay as positive as possible.  All the fears and feelings of discomfort are normal.  You just need to reframe your experiences as an opportunity and not a threat.  This is your chance to expand your comfort zone. All of the mistakes you might perceive are moments to learn from and grow.   If you don’t try new things, you will find yourself missing out and staying stagnant.  You have the capability to make anything happen!

Visualize yourself being successful.  The world is full of new opportunities, and you don’t want to miss out on any of them.

Conclusion

If you find yourself in a new situation, prepare to be uncomfortable, know that no one is paying attention to you, try to find a buddy, and always stay positive.  My daughter has found that she likes Middle School and has found many new people to befriend.  She would not trade her experiences for anything. 

If she can do this, then I can for surely survive FinCon.  I am hoping this conference opens new doors and connects me with other people.  I am visualizing a wonderful experience!

You can also read here on how to help your child overcome anxiety of a new school year.

Overcome Fears

56 comments

  1. You actually make it seem so easy along with your presentation however I
    in finding this matter to be actually one thing which I
    believe I would by no means understand. It seems too complicated and extremely large for me.
    I am taking a look forward on your subsequent publish, I’ll attempt
    to get the hang of it!
    tinyurl.com recently posted…tinyurl.comMy Profile

  2. Greetings from Ohio! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to browse your blog
    on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the knowledge you present
    here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.
    I’m surprised at how fast your blog loaded on my cell phone ..

    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, great
    site!
    best website hosting recently posted…best website hostingMy Profile

  3. My brother recommended I might like this blog. He was entirely right.

    This post truly made my day. You cann’t imagine simply how
    much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!
    web host recently posted…web hostMy Profile

  4. I don’t know if it’s just me or if everybody else
    experiencing problems with your site. It appears as if some of the text in your content are running off the screen. Can someone else please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them as well?
    This might be a issue with my internet browser because I’ve had this
    happen previously. Many thanks
    web hosting providers recently posted…web hosting providersMy Profile

  5. I used to be recommended this web site by my cousin. I am now not sure whether this publish is
    written by him as nobody else know such distinctive approximately my problem.
    You are wonderful! Thanks!
    web host recently posted…web hostMy Profile

  6. I’m amazed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog that’s equally educative and amusing, and without a doubt,
    you’ve hit the nail on the head. The issue
    is something not enough men and women are speaking intelligently about.
    I am very happy that I found this during my search
    for something regarding this.
    web hosting reviews recently posted…web hosting reviewsMy Profile

  7. Woah! I’m really enjoying the template/theme of this blog.
    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s tough to get that “perfect balance” between usability and appearance.
    I must say you’ve done a very good job with this. Additionally, the blog loads extremely
    fast for me on Opera. Superb Blog!
    find cheap flights recently posted…find cheap flightsMy Profile

  8. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after
    I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr…
    well I’m not writing all that over again. Regardless, just wanted to say wonderful
    blog!
    booking flights recently posted…booking flightsMy Profile

  9. Hello there, There’s no doubt that your site could possibly be
    having internet browser compatibility issues. When I take a look
    at your site in Safari, it looks fine however, if opening in Internet Explorer,
    it’s got some overlapping issues. I simply wanted
    to provide you with a quick heads up! Aside from that,
    great blog!
    web hosting providers recently posted…web hosting providersMy Profile

  10. Howdy this is kinda of off topic but I was wondering
    if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML.
    I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so I wanted to get
    guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
    best website hosting recently posted…best website hostingMy Profile

  11. I was curious if you ever thought of changing the structure
    of your blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
    But maybe you could a little more in the way of
    content so people could connect with it better.
    Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or two images.
    Maybe you could space it out better?
    website hosting companies recently posted…website hosting companiesMy Profile

  12. Hello I am so delighted I found your website, I really found you by error, while I was browsing on Yahoo
    for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a fantastic post and
    a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I
    don’t have time to read it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also included
    your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal
    more, Please do keep up the superb work. cheap flights 31muvXS
    cheap flights recently posted…cheap flightsMy Profile

  13. Hola! I’ve been following your web site for a while now and
    finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Porter Tx!
    Just wanted to say keep up the good work! cheap flights 3gqLYTc
    cheap flights recently posted…cheap flightsMy Profile

  14. Amazing blog! Do you have any helpful hints for aspiring writers?
    I’m hoping to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
    Would you propose starting with a free platform like
    Wordpress or go for a paid option? There are so many options
    out there that I’m completely confused .. Any recommendations?
    Thanks!
    hosting services recently posted…hosting servicesMy Profile

  15. I’m really loving the theme/design of your web site.
    Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility problems?
    A number of my blog visitors have complained about my website not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox.
    Do you have any recommendations to help fix this issue?
    cheap flights 3gqLYTc
    cheap flights recently posted…cheap flightsMy Profile

  16. I’d like to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this website.
    I really hope to view the same high-grade blog posts
    from you later on as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has
    encouraged me to get my very own site now 😉 cheap flights 32hvAj4
    cheap flights recently posted…cheap flightsMy Profile

  17. Hello there! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous
    room mate! He always kept talking about this.
    I will forward this write-up to him. Fairly certain he will have a
    good read. Thank you for sharing!
    cheap flights recently posted…cheap flightsMy Profile

  18. Hi! Someone in my Facebook group shared this website with us so I came to check it out.
    I’m definitely loving the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers!
    Outstanding blog and excellent design.
    cheap flights recently posted…cheap flightsMy Profile

  19. My spouse and I stumbled over here coming from a different web page and thought I might check things out.

    I like what I see so i am just following you. Look forward to
    looking into your web page repeatedly.
    cheap flights recently posted…cheap flightsMy Profile

  20. Greate pieces. Keep writing such kind of info on your blog.
    Im really impressed by your blog.
    Hi there, You have done a great job. I’ll certainly digg it and in my view suggest to my friends.
    I’m confident they will be benefited from this site.
    cheap flights recently posted…cheap flightsMy Profile

  21. Hi there, just became alert to your blog through Google,
    and found that it is really informative. I am
    going to watch out for brussels. I’ll appreciate if you continue this
    in future. Numerous people will be benefited from your writing.
    Cheers!
    best web hosting recently posted…best web hostingMy Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge