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For years, while my kids were still quite young, I was telling them the same thing…try your best in school, graduate, and go to college. I really didn’t think there was an alternative.
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I am not sure if college will be that place. I don’t know what will be the right place for him, but I am sure with support he will find it. Therefore, I need to stop telling him that the plan is already made for him, and that he will be going to college, because frankly, I don’t know. Learning about financial independence has opened my eyes to the fact that college is not the only path for success.
I have had to start talking about all the possibilities that lie ahead, and yet even add that I don’t even know everything that is out there.
This leads me to another discussion I had with my daughter the other day. If I wasn’t going to make my son go to college, why would that have to be the plan for my daughter. We were chatting about what she loves to do, which is animation and drawing at the moment. Now previously, I shuddered at the fact that she would someday want to go to college for art. What would she do with an art degree? She wasn’t going to make a living that way.
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The next day after our conversation, my daughter was sitting with her Grandmother who started telling her about how she would go to college and be very successful. She even insisted she may go to the private college where grandma is an alumni. Both my husband and I laughed at this, which shocked Grandma. Of course, that would an option (or maybe more of a plan than an option). You see, Grandma is of the traditional thought process. Her grandchildren are smart, will work hard in school and attend college. That is the way things should be done.
My daughter smiled at me across the room and gave me a knowing look. She knows we can’t change Grandma’s thinking at this point, but she knows that I get her and that I will support her and understand that there are so many alternative options for her.
I don’t know where my kids will be 5 years or 8 years from now. I will help them pursue whatever their passions are. But I will always be a mom, so my last words to my daughter were, “well, if you don’t go to college, you do have to be working or making a living somehow.” I wanted to make sure she knew that she can’t just live in my house without pursuing something. It is so hard to take this mom hat off sometimes.
I am excited for my children. Of who they are and who they will become. The doors have been opened for them, and I intend to do my best so that they can see all possibilities and pursue what they want to pursue…not because I or their grandmother think they should.
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